A trending moniker dubbed girl's girl is a colloquial term headlining celebrity gossip websites and social media feeds. Historically, the phrase describes a woman who values - and prioritizes - female friendships while maintaining an air of relatability with other women. Yet, beneath the seemingly innocent girl's girl label that emphasizes the positive aspects of female solidarity and empowerment lies a staunch reminder of the exclusionary nature of the controversial seal of approval.
In complete transparency, my formative years were shaped by four older brothers who ensured that I would forever be a member of the tomboy society. The sole source of my female relationships presented in the form of similarly yoked teammates of the basketball variety. As a youngster navigating my teenage years, the fact was readily apparent that no matter the awards or trophies earned, securing the coveted girl's girl honor would remain forever elusive. Indeed, it wasn't for lack of perseverance on my behalf.
I am a girl's girl.
A. Yep.
B. Nope.
C. A what?
In today's world, where competition and comparison can sometimes overshadow camaraderie, the idea of being a girl's girl appears refreshing. Who wouldn't leap at the opportunity to secure an innate confidante when the going gets tough or a familiar face of support among the crowd? A girl's girl is reportedly a whole one of that and then some. Yet, not all females share similar interests, and assuming that a woman must possess certain qualities to form gender-based bonds is reductive and simplistic. Stereotyping what female friendships should look like further alienates girls who fail to live up to such standards.
The evolution into a girl's girl existence relies heavily on the unrealistic - and often unattainable - criterion established by its group members. Hence, a select few hand-picked gatekeepers dictate who is granted entrance into the club - or not - based on arbitrary metrics. The typical basement-level vignette of attributes includes qualities like being "supportive," "non-competitive," and "reliable."
Cynics believe such expectations can lead to performative friendships, where women feel the need to present as constantly supportive, happy, and available, often at the expense of their well-being. Why do we pressure girls to conform to a specific ideal when it does not necessarily align with their values? My most cherished friendships emerged from shedding sweat, blood, and tears on the hardwood where competition was encouraged. Are those bonds less valuable to the girl's girl movement?
Regarding female empowerment and feminism, the designation suggests that unifying movements are exclusive realms for women. But, modern feminism and gender equality initiatives strive for inclusivity, encompassing all genders and identities and recognizing that everyone's liberation is interconnected.
While many people use the label girl's girl affectionately, void of intention to exclude, it's essential to be aware of the limitations and potential pitfalls of doing so. Like many terms in our evolving discourse around gender and relationships, we must challenge dated traditions with sensitivity, inclusivity, and a clear understanding of their broader implications.
Everyone, regardless of gender, has a unique style of connecting with others. So, don't worry if you don't quite fit the girl's girl model because I only sometimes fit the mold, too, and that doesn't make our friendships less meaningful. We are free to define ourselves and our relationships in ways that resonate with our personal experiences, values, and identities.
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Are you a self-proclaimed girl's girl, or is grasping the concept a challenging endeavor? How would you explain the notion of sisterhood versus girl's girl? Share your experience below. Welcome to the MSM Peanut Gallery! Please take responsibility for your behavior as you enter this shared space. Keep conversations courteous and on-topic to foster productive, respectful communication. Review our Community Guidelines before posting.
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